is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
