put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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