I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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