My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Randomize
