just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
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