Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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