We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
You can't motorboat a personality
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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