Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
