we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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