Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
