ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
