There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
