ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
