piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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