Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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