Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
