did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
