I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
