so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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