i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
