did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
