You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
