I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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