Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
