She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
