I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
