Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
