How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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