I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
