Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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