Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
sarcasm needs its own font
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
