he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
