Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
