you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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