it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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