She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
