The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
