Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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