yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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