took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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