you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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