i just wanna soil my oats bro
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
