I am puke
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
