I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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