forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
