The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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