i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I wish I only lived at night.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
