DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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