Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
