i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
