And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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