after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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