how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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