if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Bring me that man meat
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
