My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
