The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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