Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
did i walk over a car last night?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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